


Arms Out In The Rain

by orphan_account



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brainwashing, Dollhouse AU, Dubious Ethics, Dubious Morality, Dubious Science, Ethics, F/M, Identity Issues, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-05-27 18:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6295549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was something familiar in those brown eyes, he could sense it. The only thing was that he didn't know who she was. And neither did she.</p><p>*ON INDEFINITE HIATUS*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Dollhouse

**Author's Note:**

> Did I need to start another AU? No.  
> Did I? Yes.  
> To those who know Dollhouse and the fact there is a lot of dub con in it, there shall be none in this fic. Anything that happens with anyone won't contain that. Hope that clears everything up about the tags.  
> Also, you don't need to watch Dollhouse to understand it. Just that they can give someone another person's memories, giving them a whole new personality. It is actually hard to explain but [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dollhouse_\(TV_series\)) is the wiki link if would like more.  
> I hope you enjoy this.

Following the tall blonde, Fitz found himself jogging to keep up with her long strides.

“We here are happy to welcome you,” she was saying, looking down at her clipboard, “Dr Fitz…”

But Fitz just cut her off. “Please, it’s just Fitz.” The blonde turned to face him, and nodded before turning back to face the double doors ahead. Her hair was pinned up in a bun that was starting to come undone. Fitz thought that she looked stressed, and he supposed that she was. Working for Roxxon, especially in one of the Dollhouses, was an extremely stressful job. Especially when you were in charge.

“Are you ready?” she turned to him again, a smile gracing her face.

He nodded, felling suddenly uneasy but he shook that thought from his head. He had been offered a job here without ever needing to apply. At first he found that this was somewhat suspicious but upon reading the rest of the package that had arrived in the email, his found the job to be something that seemed worthwhile. Somewhere to stay, good pay and a chance to work with some of the latest technology. And even technology that had yet to hit the market.

But, if he was going to be honest with himself, they weren’t the real reasons that he had accepted the job. He accepted the job to heal himself. To bring back those memories that he had lost after that night. That night when his car had swerved of the road, and into the river. He still didn’t know how he got out. Just that he woke in hospital, alone, nine days later. The memories of that night were a jumble. All he wanted was to find out what had happened.

“Fitz.” The woman, her name was Bobbi, snapped him back to reality. She raised an eyebrow, staring down at him. He nodded. “Are you ready?”

“Of course,” he replied, but yet again her attention was no longer on him. She was pushing open the doors, leading them onto a walkway suspended up above the main area below. He paused for a moment, hands resting upon a railing as he looked down. The main area was full of people waling about, mindlessly going about their business. In the centre, on a wooden path going over a small indoor pond, a yoga session was going on. Everything seemed so peaceful, so relaxed, so tranquil.

Bobbi cleared her throat, prompting Fitz to pull himself away from the railing and follow her along, to what would soon become his new office.

It was spilt into two rooms: the first being split into two layers. The lower layer was more of a place for him to relax and really to live, although the sleeping quarters were separate. The upper level had an array of computer, and a work bench, and anything else he could ever need (if he needed more, Bobbi assured him that that could be arranged). The second room was where everyone said that the real business occurred.

Inside was a chair (now more efficient, something that Fitz felt both proud and sick of helping to redesign). The chair that could make anyone, anyone. The chair, Fitz hoped, would be central to everything.

“Now,” Bobbi said, speaking again. “This is it. I have other business to attend to. Ahh.” When she looked up from her clipboard, she realised that they weren’t alone. There were two other people there, a man and a woman. The man was wearing a suit, looking ever so professional. The woman, however, looked disconnected from the world, swaying slightly. “Bakshi. How was she today? I heard that Skye had set everything up.”

“She was perfect,” the man that must so obviously be Bakshi said, his gaze resting upon the woman in a way that made Fitz feel uneasy. “She was perfect. She is the most requested as you know.”

Bobbi gave an approving nod. “Where is Skye?”

“Downstairs in one of the bedrooms, there was a malfunction with one of the pods last night.”

“I’ll tell her that Fitz is here.” And with that, Bobbi was gone, heels clacking on the ground as the floor changed from carpet to wood. Once she had left, the temperature in the room seemed to drop by 10 degrees, and it was all that Fitz could do not to shiver. However, to make himself seem like the bigger person, he extended his hand in greeting. “Fitz.”

Bakshi nodded it before accepting it in his own. “Are you the new…” It was clear that Bakshi was having difficulty finding the words to adequately describe the position that Fitz had managed to secure for himself.

“Yeah, that’s me.” A curt nod from the other man told him that there was nothing else that was needed to be said.

“Jemma,” Bakshi’s voice cut through the room. “Are you not going to introduce yourself?”  

The woman, Jemma, turned to face him. Her brown eyes were soft, but distant, as if she were not fully here. And familiar. There was something so familiar about them “Hello,” she said. Then her attention was gone again, looking at the flashing lights of the servers and the machines lining the room.

Bakshi gave an annoyed sigh. It was clear that he was not in a good mood. Or a nice person. Fitz had yet to decide. It was still early days. “Jemma,” he snapped at her, irritated. “Let’s go back downstairs.”

She nodded slightly and allowed herself to be lead out of the room. Fitz watched them go through both rooms and down the walkway before they faded from his view.

He took a look around the office, running his hands over the metal that was slightly warm from running all day. He found a tablet abandoned beside the computer. Picking it up, he found that there was a note left under it. ‘ _The passcode is 0000. You can change it_ _: )_ ‘. There was no signature but if the smiley face was anything to go by, it was obvious that Bobbi was not the one who had left the note. Maybe it was Skye, the assistant that he had only heard of and was yet to meet.

Unlocking the device, he walked back to the relaxation area, collapsing on the sofa. “Hey,” a voice came from beside him, knocking him from his thoughts. “Skye.”

He looked up, and saw someone who looked about his age, brown bangs falling around her face. “So you got my note?” she asked.

Fitz nodded, extending his hand, which Skye just scoffed at and waving it off. “No need for those formalities with me, I’m not like Bakshi or Bobbi or anything. I actually understand the definition of fun. See that trampoline,” she gestured with her thumb to a small, child’s trampoline in the corner. “Me. You can thank me later.”

Fitz just laughed, a little uneasily but still it was laughter, shaking his head. If there was anyone that seemed friendly here, Skye seemed to be it. Still, there was something twisted about messing with people, creating and erasing personalities for them again and again. But he supposed, they had agreed to it to help escape whatever horrors they had experienced, and may be hiding from those horrors was better than living through it (at least that’s what he told himself to help him to sleep at night).

“So what’s your story?” he asked, dreading the small talk that always seemed to happen whenever you met someone knew.

“I could have been down there. Roxxon don’t take _too_ kindly to people hacking and threating to releases their secrets. It was a dare,” she added as an afterthought when she the look that Fitz gave him. “It was either work for them with tech, or become one of them.”

“Dolls?” he asked. He hated that less than human name they were given, treated as though they were something less than human. Something that could be _played_ with.

Skye nodded. “Yeah. One of them.” She shuddered at the thought. “I feel sorry for them, they don’t have any idea at all.”

Fitz nodded in agreement, watching the activity pass through the glass.

The woman from earlier, the one with the soft brown eyes that were oh so familiar turned her attention to him, looking up, smiling and waving. Fitz waved back, and she gave him one last smile before walking off, a bound in her step that wasn’t there before.

“She seems to like you,” Skye joked, nudging him. “But she’s not hard to please. Jemma seems to like everyone unless they give her a reason not to.”

“Huh,” Fitz said, still trying to figure out where he knew those eyes from.

“So, what’s your story?” Skye continued. “I told you mine. What sort of things did _you_ do to piss off Roxxon?”

“Nothing. I almost died.”

The blunt answer sent an uneasy silence over the room. “Shit,” Skye whispered. “I’m so sorry, I never knew.”

But Fitz raised a hand, the one that still trembled when he was nervous, silencing her. “It’s nothing. Was months ago.”

“It’s not nothing. You almost died.”

“Haven’t we all?” he asked before leaving the sofa, intent on getting a drink from the mini-fridge and leaving Skye in a shocked silence, pondering the question.


	2. The Monkey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! This has actually been updated, and in my notebook, a plot actually exists! My life may not yet be together but this fic is, and that's something! I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Over the next number of days, as Fitz learnt the ropes, and how the company was run, he still felt uncomfortable with the entire concept of it. And he was no closer to figuring out how he could use his new position to help benefit himself. He was working so often that he barely had a moment to himself now a days.

It was at the end of his first week there, he was checking the programme Skye had written to ensure that it would able to work with the new technology that he had designed to help imprint new memories. It did, of course. Both of them were geniuses in their fields, and the way they worked together, it made him feel like he was remembering something. The feeling of being able to work so flawlessly with someone. But that someone wasn’t Skye. It was someone he knew well, someone he maybe even loved, but he couldn’t place the ghost of a face that lingered in his mind. The ghost of a face that often surfaced in his dreams.

“Hey, Fitz!” Skye called, opening the door that lead into the room that they called the lounge. He turned around “I got Chinese food!” She held up her hand, a plastic bag in it. And in her other, a pack of beer bottles. “To celebrate your first week.”

Fitz pushed his computer chair back from the desk and swivelled around so he could lean against the railing. She was smiling up at him. He shook his head, and stood up, making his way to her. He didn’t see why they should be celebrating. But it was still very kind of her to buy them dinner that night.

“You made it a week,” Skye said as she placed the cartons of food on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

“And that’s cause for celebration?” he asked, reaching for a bottle of beer and opening it.

Skye nodded. “The last one, Miles, lasted five days.”

“And the one before that?” Fitz asked out of curiosity.

Skye winced, biting her lip. “We don’t talk about him.

Fitz went to apologise but Skye waved her hand. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know. It’s just that you don’t want to upset the people in charge here.” The tone of her voice was mysterious as if she were trying to scare him. “There are certain rooms in the Dollhouse you don’t want to end up in.”

Fitz just glared at her, trying to decipher if she were being serious or not. Then she burst out laughing, throwing herself down on the sofa beside him and reached for one of the cartons of noodles. “So Fitzy,” she began. He cringed at the name, but didn’t call her out on it. “Is there any ladies on the go?”

Fitz almost choked on his chicken. Did she seriously just ask that? But he supposed that they were getting to know each other, and one of their first conversations was how both of them had ended up here, and Fitz did mention something that he rarely told anyone. “Any what?”

“Ladies,” Skye said, her voice seductive, elbowing him.

He shook his head. Was this Skye trying to ask him out? Sure she was nice, she was friendly, but he wasn’t sure if he _liked_ her.

“Aww, a man like you? With all your rugged handsome looks?”

Fitz shook his head, this time in disbelieve. Rugged? Handsome? Where they the two words that she was seriously going to use to describe him? He raised an eyebrow.

“What?” she asked, her mouth full of noodles. “If a man has stubble, that’s rugged in my book.”

“If that’s what your book says, you may go and buy a new one.”

“That I will. Or!” Skye exclaimed. “You can buy me it!”

Fitz couldn’t help but laugh at this. “I’ll look out for it.”

“You better.”

“So,” Fitz began, hoping that what he was about to ask wouldn’t make Skye too uncomfortable. “Is there anyone you like the look of?”

She battered her eyelids at him. “There is someone… Someone handsome, very good with his hands.”

“Wait what?” Fitz stammered, stumbling over his words.

Skye rolled her eyes. “Trip. Well, we’re together. Guy down in medical. Have you…” The sound of footsteps stopped her from continuing her thought.

She dropped her fork, and walked over to the door, opening it. Standing on the walkway outside was…

“Jemma?” Skye asked, wondering what she was doing up here.

Jemma smiled, and held out her hands. In it was a clay model of what Skye saw to be a monkey. She seemed to want Skye to take it. “I made it for him.”

Skye smiled back at Jemma. “Aww, I’ll tell him thanks.”

“There’s no need,” Fitz explained, now standing there himself to see what all the fuss was about. “Thank you.”

She passed it to him, and he examined it. It was amazing crafted, and it looked like Jemma had spent hours working on it. “I wasn’t sure if you liked monkeys or not.”

“They’re my favourite.”

“They are?”

He nodded in response to this, causing her to respond with a bigger smile.

“Jemma,” Skye said. She shouldn’t be standing there, not at the door to their office/lounge. “You don’t want to miss dinner, do you?”

Jemma shook her head. “No. I just wanted to give it to him.”

“I know, but you’ve to get something to eat now.”

She nodded and turned to leave, but not before smiling at Fitz, who returned the favour with a smile. And with that she went running off.

Skye closed the door, and the two of them headed back to the sofa. “It was nice of you to tell her that monkeys were your favourite animal.”

“That’s the thing… they are.”

“Huh,” was all that Skye could think of replying.

***

_There was laughter in the car beside him, a pop song on the radio that neither of them cared about. He pulled to a stop at the red light, a young family crossing in front of them, making it safely to the other side of the road as the father lifted the youngest girl up onto his shoulders. The sun shining in the window caught the diamonds on her finger, causing them to sparkle even more than they originally were._

_He looked over at her for a moment, not wanting to take his eyes of the road, but also wanting to keep his attention on the woman he was lucky enough to be calling his wife soon. He honestly couldn't believe that she had said yes. He didn't know what he had done to deserve her._

_Her face, however, was not something that he could pick out. It was both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Everything and nothing. He tried to take in her features. Her hair was blonde, red, black and brown. Her eyes were blue, green, grey and auburn._

_Her face was friendly, full of life and laugher, but also panicked, full of fear and terror._

_No, it was the second one. She was terrified and the crash of metal told him why. He jolted forwards, and the last thing he heard before the world turned to black was her screams._

Fitz awoke with a start, sweat gleaming on his forehead. He was twisted in the blankets, and his breath was coming in ragged gasps.

Sitting up now, he rubbed his eyes, looking at the clock. The vivid red numbers showed that it was only twelve minutes past three. Sighing, he collapsed back down onto the pillows and hoped that sleep would come easy to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for checking this out, and for the love on the last chapter, it really helped to inspire me to post this! I hoped you enjoyed this next chapter!


	3. The Alcoholic

He had had an awful night’s sleep, getting very little after the nightmare had awoken him. Looking at the clock, now reading just after seven in the morning, he decided that his best bet was just to get up, and start to get ready for work. He didn’t need to be there until nine, but this morning gave him some time to try and figure out more of what happened to him.

What had been hidden from him.

Because he was certain something had been hidden from him. The woman in his dreams. She was someone he knew, someone he had cared about, and if that ring was something significant, someone he had loved. He just didn’t know who she was.

What he did know, however, was that all faces in dreams where ones that he knew, or even ones that he had seen in the passing. And he could say that he did know her. There was a familiarity about her in his dreams. But one that he couldn’t place in the real world, when he awoke.

He knew all he had to do was remember it, and maybe with that he could work out her name. Who she was. What she was to him. And with that maybe, just maybe, he could figure out how to get his life back to the way it was. Working for Holden Radcliffe, and not for this creepy organisation.

He sighed, shook his head and headed into the bathroom to get showered before breakfast.

***

Skye was already working by the time he got to their office, and a sense of dread passed through him. Had he missed an email, a text, a phone call? Was he late for work? What would happen if he did?

“Morning,” Skye greeted, setting down a mug of extremely strong coffee, and swivelling around to face him. She saw his face, fear there, and she shook her head. “You’re not late. I just headed down here early.”

He nodded in reply, and that’s when he heard the arguing. Bakshi and Jemma. Skye winced at this, and gestured across her neck, telling him silently to not say anything.

Eventually, they brought it into the main office, from the room that contained the chair.

“Oh please!” It was Jemma, and she was so unlike the Jemma that he had gotten to know the past week. “It’s nine o’clock at night somewhere.”

“Miss Jones, please be reasonable.” Bakshi said, trying to calm her down.

Fitz and Skye just watched in confusion.

Jemma, or Miss Jones, as she seemed to be, rolled her eyes. “Mr Bakshi, please. I have tried to be reasonable and meet with all of your demands, and yet you can’t seem to meet any of mine mine.”

She crossed her arms, and Fitz noticed that she was wearing something that was not like anything he had seen her wearing before. Boots, dark jeans and a grey hoodie hidden under a leather jacket.

Bakshi stood there, his suit pristine, and sighed. It seemed like he wasn’t going to move, and it also seemed that Jemma was going to stand her ground.

“What would Bobbi say, hmm? If I told her you weren’t helping…” she let the sentence trail off.

Bakshi stared her down, his eyes narrowed, clearly not knowing what to say to this, and clearly oblivious to the fact that both Skye and Fitz were present in the room.

An eyebrow was raised from Jemma, but Bakshi still didn’t do anything. Fitz didn’t even know what they were arguing over, what Jemma was being unreasonable about.

“Is there a problem?” Bobbi’s voice cut through the uncomfortable silence that had settled in the room.

“Ms Morse,” Bakshi spoke now, his tone different from the one that he had been using with Jemma. It was as though he was somewhat intimidated by Bobbi. “Miss Jones here is being unreasonable.”

Jemma snorted, and threw a look at Bobbi. “Unreasonable. He’s not letting me have a drink. How that’s unreasonable I will never know.”

Bobbi smiled at her. “Miss Jones…”

“Please,” Jemma interrupted her. “You know me well enough by now.”

Bobbi gave a nod at this. “Jessica, please, let’s go my office, discuss the client’s needs.”

And with that, Jemma was gone, Bakshi not far behind her.

Bobbi waited behind for a moment, and turned to Skye. “You need to check the sleeping pod again. It’s still playing up.”

Once she had left, Skye groaned and collapsed across the desk. “Weeks it’s been like that. I just can’t…”

She groaned again.

“I can go,” Fitz offered and Skye turned her head so she could look at him better.

“You would?”

Fitz shrugged as if it were nothing. “It can’t be that bad, can it?”

***

It was bad. It was so very bad. He had no idea how the sleeping pods ever worked. Hell, he hadn’t even seen one of them until today. They were simply a bed embedded in the floor with a screen that covered them.

There was no way that was comfortable to sleep in, was there?

Or fun?

But he supposed he couldn’t just presume stuff like that. Everyone was different, and not everyone was claustrophobic like him.

It was his turn to give a groan of frustration when he heard footsteps enter the sleeping quarters. And he found himself looking up at someone he had never seen before.

“Who are you?” he asked.

The strange looked back down at him. “Could ask you the same question mate. Ask you what you’re doing creeping in the female sleeping quarters.”

“Fitz. The new guy,” he quickly said, not wanting to get in trouble with this stranger, whoever he was.

“Oh yeah, Bobs told me about you. Hunter, head of security here. Surprised she never introduced you.”

“I’ve not been introduced to many people tell you the truth. Only met you, Skye, Bobbi and Bakshi. A couple others but their names went over my head.”

“Not one of the most pleasant people,” came Hunter’s reply, obviously speaking of Bakshi. “Can’t get rid of him though.”

“Why?” Fitz asked.

Hunter shrugged. “His father, a one Gideon Malick, owns Roxxon, and gave his son the job. And anyway, where else could he get a job with a CV that says doll handler?”

“Do you trust him?”

“I don’t but Jemma seems to.”

Fitz bit his lip.

“You worry for her?”

“I barely know her. Met her once or twice.”

Hunter laughed. “That’s a different story to what I heard.”

“Who told you?”

“Jemma herself.”

“She was talking about me?”

Hunter nodded. “She seems really taken by you. I can see why.”

“When were you… when were you talking to her?”

“The other day I think it was, she cornered me after dinner. Wanted to tell all about the new guy. It was cute.” Fitz frowned at this, but Hunter just ignored him and carried on. “Bobs will probably not be happy that I told you that. No one is supposed to know really, but everyone does.”

“Bobs?”

“Barbra Morse. It’s only me who can call her Bobs though.” Hunter shrugged this off. “The privileges of being her ex-husband.”

“You were married?”

A lop-sided grin. “Turns out we work better not together. Listen, mate, I’ve to run. Probably see you around?”

This time Fitz nodded. Then he was alone.

***

“Who was she, this morning?” he asked Skye, cradling a beer.

Skye looked at him. “Her alias, her identity?”

Fitz nodded.

“Jessica Jones. Private Investigator. Also, raging alcoholic.”

“Will she be fine… I mean is that safe?”

Skye shrugged. “Safe as it can be I suppose. And Bakshi’s there in case anything goes wrong.”

“I suppose,” Fitz muttered not really feeling reassured at these words, and the conversation with Hunter still lingering on his mind. “I suppose.”

Skye had no reply to this, so they spent a number of minutes in an uncomfortable silence, neither really knowing how to fill it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I just using Marvel characters for personalities... Maybe. Its just easier to me than creating whole new people. And what Fitz says about people and dreams and faces. I read it online, not sure if its true, but I liked the idea of it so I kept it in. Many thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. I really couldn't do this without all of your support.


	4. The Hangover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its been months since this was updated but here's the next chapter. It is not based on the comedy films sadly, but I hope you enjoy this one.

It was a number of days later before Jemma returned, and the first thing that she did when she woke up was go and see Trip. She liked Trip. He was nice. He was kind. He was friendly.

He always had a smile on his face.

“Jemma,” he greeted once she entered the medical room. “How are you today?”

She shrugged, “My head hurts, I don’t know why.”

Trip frowned, knowing exactly why Jemma had a headache. She was hung over, and Trip knew there was little that could be done for it at the moment. “Do you want to sit down?” he asked, gesturing to the bed.

Jemma nodded, and climbed up onto the bed, sitting cross legged as Trip rummaged through the cupboards. “Have you met Fitz yet?” she asked suddenly, causing him to spin.

He stared at her, knowing how she was talking about. Fitz, the new one, who worked with Skye. Skye had mentioned him before, and had also mentioned how she was worried about Jemma. Jemma, who seemed to have a fascination with Fitz. A fascination with Fitz that had Skye worried. Those type of things had happened before, and hadn’t ended well for any parties that had been involved.

“No,” Trip said, shaking his head. “Not yet.”

Jemma frowned as if she couldn’t quite believe that Trip had yet to meet Fitz. “You should. He’s nice.”

Trip, now back looking in the cabinet, and reaching for the medication, shook his head and laughed. “I will, later today. Me and Skye are going out for lunch. I’ll probably bump into him at some point.”

Having gotten what he wanted, he passed her the medication and a glass of what. She accepted them with thanks, and swallowed the tablets, before finishing of the water. “Just keep hydrated,” Trip offered. “And relax, it should be gone soon.”

As Jemma nodded, she unfolded herself from her position on the bed, and made her way to the door. Before she left, she cast one last glance at Trip. “Thank you.”

And then, she was gone.

***

The dreams were becoming more and more frequent now, and still, still Fitz couldn’t remember anything about them.

Or her.

The woman in his dreams.

She was always there.

Always smiling, always happy.

Always brightening up his world.

In some, she had the ring on her finger, the diamonds twinkling.

In others, she didn’t.

Some dreams were about nights spent together, days spent in coffee shops or simply enjoying each other’s presence.

And others, others were about the accident. Something he knew to be true.

The night his car had come of the road, and into the river.

But he had been alone.

Hadn’t he?

There had been no one else in the car with him. There couldn’t have been.

He was alone when he had awoken from his coma.

There was no one with him.

Even the hospital staff had told him that.

But that woman… she was there. She _had_ been there. In his dreams, at least.

But what if she had been there? In real life.

No…

What if she had died?

Been killed in the crash with him.

And he had forgotten about it, pushed it from his mind.

He pushed aside the paper work that he was supposed to be reading, and opened up the Internet browser on the computer in front of him. He looked up the dates of his accident, and all news reports related to it.

There was nothing about a death.

Just his car crashing into the river and the father of the family, a one Nick Fury, helping him out of the water, and being one of the main reasons that he was alive.

She hadn’t been there…

Unless…

No.

It couldn’t be,

No one had the power to erase someone from existence.

Well, _something_ had the power.

Roxxon.

The very people that Fitz was now working for.

The very people Fitz thought had the secret to the memories of that night.

Could they have had something to do with it?

Could they be hiding something from him?

He pushed back from the table, and stood up.

He couldn’t sit there, not any longer.

He needed to clear his head.

He was going to go for a walk, because at that point, anywhere but there was a better place to be.

However, on the way out, something caused him to stop, to pause and to backtrack.

It was the statue of the monkey that Jemma had made him.

She could have made it for him because like him, her favourite animal was a monkey.

Or it could be something else.

Something more.

After all, there was something about her.

Something that Fitz couldn’t quite put his finger on.

Sighing, he left the room, in the hopes of finding and talking to Jemma.

***

“You’re worried,” Bobbi told Skye.

The younger woman nodded. “I am. You’ve seen how Jemma is with Fitz. There’s something between them.”

Bobbi nodded, knowing just what Skye meant. “You don’t want a repeat of last time.”

“Neither do you. We can’t afford to lose Jemma. She’s our best asset in this. If we lose her, if she’s gone… if she’s sent _there_ … then we’ve lost. We’ve lost everything that we’ve worked for.”

“And Fitz?” Bobbi asked, reaching for the bottle and pouring herself a glass of wine. She offered one to Skye who declined. Then Bobbi took the seat at the desk opposite Skye.

A shrug. “He’s hiding something. And he wants something from us.”

“But can he be trusted?”

“As of yet, I’m not sure. He doesn’t trust us. Not yet anyway. The only one here that he even seems to remotely like is me.”

Bobbi nodded, thinking through her next words carefully. “Get him to trust you, then he’ll trust us.”

“And once that is done?” Skye asked, understanding what Bobbi was saying but not knowing exactly what she wanted.

Bobbi smiled at took sip of her drink. “And once he trusts us, we can put our plan into action.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm teasing a lot with this one, but I do have this fic planned out. Next chapter should be up within the next week. Thanks for checking out and hope you enjoyed this one!


	5. The Killer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY this update took so long! I will promise semi-regular updates and I am determined to get this finished over the next number of weeks. Hope you guys enjoy this one!

A number of days passed and the dreams still didn’t leave Fitz, if anything they became more and more intense, more and more details becoming known to him but still her face haunted his dreams, and remained a wisp of smoke that always alluded him not matter how close he got to working out who she was.

He hadn’t found Jemma the night he had wanted to talk to her, the night after he thought someone had died in the car accident with him, the night he thought Roxxon was truly hiding something for him. She had been in her yoga lesson that night, then she was gone the next two days and he barely had the time to even breathe.

And Skye had become more and more distant over those days, avoiding speaking about Jemma, and Roxxon as a whole, if she could. She was hiding something, he was sure of it. Not that he was surprised, this was Roxxon after all.

It only added to his paranoia about everything and anything.

It was an early Tuesday afternoon when everything really reached a boiling point. He was sitting in his office, working his way through some old files and records when he heard shouting, screaming, arguing.

He didn’t even try to ignore it, his curiosity getting the better of him as he pushed away from the desk and looked out the window, pushing back the blinds so that he could get a better look. It seemed that it was Jemma who was doing the arguing, shouting with Bakshi about something, Bobbi standing off to the side as if she were there to intervene only if things got out of hand .

“They’ve opened the pool again,” came Skye’s voice from over his shoulder, speaking properly to him in the first time for days now. “She doesn’t like swimming. Not after what happened last time.”

He turned, facing her, starting at her with confusion written across every inch of his face. “What happened last time?” He knew some of Jemma’s files, not that there was much on it anyway, and there was nothing on it about the life she had before the Dollhouse. Had what happened last time been removed from this file?

Skye let out a long breath through her mouth, as if considering the words to say next. “We had to close it two months ago, it was badly damaged after an incident…”Her sentences were careful, and she seemed scared, as though she were saying things that she shouldn’t be.

“Involving Jemma?”

She nodded. “Yeah… involving Jemma.” She paused again, biting her lip and it was clear that she didn’t know how to say what she wanted to say, or maybe more likely, she didn’t want to say what she was going to say next. “I don’t know how much Bobbi told you about the Attic…”

The Attic. The room that no one talked about. The one room in the Dollhouse no one ever entered. He knew that and only that. And he didn’t press for more information about it. Though he had heard whispers from the other staff about what went on up there, each account seemingly conflicting each other but whatever truly happened up there, it wasn’t something that he wanted to know. “Just the basics,” he answered. “That no one wants to go up there just.”

Another heavy sigh from Skye. “When anyone does something that Roxxon doesn’t like, they usually end up here, working for them but sometimes, sometimes they end up in the Attic, and sometimes even their own staff end up there, like the guy before you. And there was a doll once, his real name Grant Ward. He started to remember or something, no one really knows but he lured Jemma into the pool, saying that they had new art supplies in there, you know how much she loves her art and then tried to drown her. We don’t know why, we were never able to get a clear answer out of him. Then, when he thought he had killed her, tried to destroy the room. We were able to save Jemma, to bring her back but the event, it traumatised her. We had to wipe her so many times but it seems the memories remain.”

After hearing her words, hearing her story, something about it just resonated with Fitz, refusing to leave him. He knew what it was like to be terrified of water, to have nearly drowned and from the shouts that were increasing in volume, they seemed to be doing no favours for her. He excused himself from the office and headed across the walkway and down the stairs, nearly falling down the last of them as he made his way to the trio of people that had seemed to attract more and more stares.

“Jemma!” Bakshi’s voice was loud and full of venom. “You’re being unreasonable.”

She shook her head, loose brown locks flying everywhere. “I can’t. I can’t.” She seemed terrified, her eyes wide and full of fear. “What happens if I fail again?” The last five words confused him, but Fitz pushed them from his mind, thinking maybe it had something to do with Grant Ward.

Bakshi gave a frustrated groan, turning to Bobbi and it was at this point that Fitz decided to cut on. “Don’t… don’t make her go swimming if she doesn’t want to. You’re just upsetting her, distressing her. Isn’t this supposed to be a warm relaxing environment?”

All three heads turned to look at him, at the intruder to the conversation. Jemma’s face softened at him, and if he wasn’t seeing things, he could have sworn that she looked relieved. Bobbi’s was one of confusion and Bakshi… he looked simply furious and before anyone could cut into the conversation again, before anyone could speak, Fitz himself spoke again. “You’ve upset her. Just change her schedule, at least until she’s ready.”

Bobbi looked between him and Jemma before sighing. “There’s a gardening class that has a space free. Tell Lucy that you’re taking part in it for the foreseeable future.”

She nodded at Bobbi then spun to Fitz, a smile dancing across her face and tears glistening on her cheeks. “Thank you.”

“S’okay, I don’t much like swimming either.”

She beamed at this, as if she were happy to have someone to back up her argument. “It is quite scary.”

But Fitz never had a chance to answer her as before he really knew what was happening, Bobbi was hurrying everyone back to their duties.

But there was no mistaking the look of anger on Bakshi’s face as he passed Fitz.

***

“Sir,” he whispered down the phone, covering his mouth with his hand and casting a glance up at the office, where, even from this distance, he could still see Fitz working, hunched over his computer. “We need to talk. It’s about Jemma.”

There was silence on the end of the line that prompted him to continued. “Sir, it’s happening again. She’s remembering again.”

The voice on the other end of the line spoke only two sentences, two commands before hanging up. “ _Keep an eye on it. You know what to do if the situation escalates.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for checking out and for sticking with me! Hope you enjoyed this update!

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope that you enjoyed this and that it actually works out, one way or another. I wrote Jemma as almost an opposite to her AOS characterisation. I may have taunted a number of things within this, all of which should become clear soon. I hope that you enjoyed this glimpse into what could be an extremely long and intense AU and many thanks for reading. The Whedons and all own both shows, with Fox and Marvel. The title is from Remains, by Mo and Jed.


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